Dad.
I’ve been thinking about you today.
Do you remember that old table tennis table you got hold of some time late in the seventies?
We used to carry the metal frame down from the shed to that small plateau next to our oak tree and put the two heavy plywood parts on top, fix the net and play several rounds in more than awkward conditions1.
The table didn’t really stand straight and even the slightest wind made the game very unpredictable. Often the balls went into the brush and searching for them did take up the better part of a long game.
So today I was raking the leaves on the slope there. Everything has become so manageable, since I spend almost 50% of my time here. You’d be 94 this year, had you been of better health – and the place would look much different, I am sure.
Not only because of our difference in taste, but also for you being much more conservative than me and much less prone to a risky business as I was with rebuilding the place to a permanent home – that enabled me to rake the leaves on the last day of February.
‚Cause even though it is a very (unnatural) warm day, it still gets cold and while the old house could provide some warmth, it was never nowhere near the comfort and the possibilities of this new building here with the heat pump, the underfloor heating, the hot water, the tub and all the luxury that derives from that.
And yes, we didn’t part ways on the best of terms. But I will always remember you for your passion and joy in connection to this special place. Your happy place. My happy place. See, that at least we’ve got in common.
So why now, you ask? Why after all these years – it’s 30 years since you passed away and though I think of you often, I never put anything in writing about us in my blog…
Well – today I found a ping pong ball amidst the bushes and the leaves. It must have been hiding there for more than forty years, since we didn’t play after 1980 when you contracted a severe case of asthma.
The frame of the table stabilizes one of the many woodpiles now and the plywood plates have become tool rack support in the shed…
Another of our favourite pastimes was hanging out in deckchairs on the lawn or the terrace, a glass of water for me, a glass of wine for you – gazing into the stars while it got dark and talking about all things happening in our lives.
Though the terrace has become another room in this house recently I am of a mind to re-enact that situation tonight. The deckchair is set and ready, there’s some Riesling wine in the fridge and I hope there will be stars to see.
It’s a good day. And today I miss you. In a good way.
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